- IV -

“Jackson, I need your help.”
Jax stared at her, baffled, speechless. It had been, what? Two, maybe three years since the last time he had seen her? She was more beautiful than he had remembered, and against all effort to hold onto the delight he felt in seeing her again, his heart rebelled, forcing him to feel the stabbing sensation of betrayal he had suppressed for so long. The pain came back in a rush, enveloping his entire being with a force so intense that his hands shook and his heart ached with a pain long forgotten. Still, he stared at her.

“Please, Jackson. I need you. I didn’t know who else to turn to,” said the woman sitting across from him. Maria Alombaki had entered his life like a comet flashing across the night sky – beautiful, graceful, elegant, and gone before he could remember to breathe. He didn’t know what to say. A part of him, the forgiving and loving side of him, longed to tell her that he was here for her, that he would do anything, give up everything, for her. His rational side begged him to tell her to deal with her own problems, and just walk away from her the way she had done so many years ago. His broken heart, the piece of him that had endured an endless amount of agony and disappointment, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to throw her to the ground and kick her in her beautiful fucking face.

“Do you remember the first time we went to that sushi bar you love so much?” asked Jax, as he stared deeply into her sea-green eyes. “Do you remember what you said to me?”

“Jackson,” started Maria, “I don’t have time to take a trip down memory lane. I really need – ”

“You told me,” continued Jax, “that the world was ours to conquer. I remember thinking that, no matter what happened, no matter how difficult the road ahead of us became, no matter how many obstacles tried to sway us from our dreams, none of it would matter in the end because you made me believe that we would get through it all. Together.” He watched as her eyes gazed down at the martini glass intwined within her delicate fingers. He wanted so badly to just reach across the table and touch her soft skin, to run his fingers through her long, silky hair. Instead, he took a sip of the scotch in his hands.

“Jackson, I know that I should have done things a little differently, but I – ”

“A little differently?” he choked, the words getting lost in his throat as his body began to seethe with rage. “A little differently?! Maria, are you fucking kidding me? You left without a single word! I come home to find an empty house, all of your things gone, and not even a note to say goodbye. I haven’t heard from you in almost three years, and all of a sudden, you show up here, asking me for help? Do you have any fucking clue as to what you put me through? Do you even give a shit?”

“Of course I – ,” she started, but again, Jax interrupted her.

“No, you don’t,” he said quietly. The anger within him that had quickly flared to life began to subside, and was replaced with a dark sense of loss and defeat. “You never did. I should have realized that from the beginning.” The glass within her hands trembled, and he watched as her eyes began to well up with tears. “It was good to see you, Maria. I hope everything works out for you, but whatever you’re looking for, you won’t find it here.” He grabbed his briefcase and jacket, left a few bills on the table, and walked away from the beautiful creature who sat there, tears streaming down her face.

Outside, the storm had grown fierce. The cold wind whipped the falling rain around like stray bullets, lashing out at him as he faced the night with a new found sense of bravery and independence. With each drop that fell upon him, he felt as though the burden he had been toting around for the past few years were being violently washed away, leaving him feeling lighter, cleaner, and more liberated than he had felt since the day she walked into his life. He remained focused on each step he took, focused on the relief that invigorated him, knowing that if he gave it a second thought, he would doubt his actions, lose all courage, and run back to the bitch who stole his heart, ripped it right out of his chest, and threw it to the wolves. He knew that if he let the memories of her gentle touch, of her whispered words of love, enter his mind, he would lose his composure and dive once more into the trap of letting himself fall victim to her seducing arms, giving her permission to do as she pleased with his heart, even if it meant tearing it to pieces. Stay strong, you did the right thing, he told himself. She’s only going to hurt you again. Did you forget how much it hurt to find out that –

“Wait! Please, just wait!” she cried, her voice straining to be heard over the howls of the wind and the slap of her heels against the wet pavement as she ran to catch up with him. There was an undeniable sense of desparation in her words; words that were coloured with an immeasurable amount of sorrow and fear that, regardless of how badly he wanted to, Jax found impossible to ignore. Fuck.

“Jackson, please, let me explain!” pleaded Maria as she ran up beside him, latching onto his arm and pulling him to face her.

“There’s nothing to explain,” he said, spitting the words out like acid. “You left! You got what you wanted, and you fucking left! What more do you want?” Her tall, lithe body recoiled from his retort, as though his words had physically reached out and slapped her across the face. “What did you expect, Maria? What did you honestly think would happen tonight? I don’t owe you a goddamned thing, so get the hell off me and just leave.”

“NO!” she screamed, her voice strained with anguish. “You don’t understand – they’re going to kill me!” For a moment, the world stopped spinning, time ceased to exist, and all was still. For a breath, nothing mattered, nothing was real, and the silence of shock and horror was deafening.

Jax stared at her, speechless. She looked up at him, her large green eyes wide with fear and glistening with tears. “Please,” she whispered, unable to control the panic that overwhelmed her. “Jackson, I need you.”

- III -

Her keys clattered loudly as she dropped them into the white glass bowl that was sitting at the edge of the black wood table, the sound bouncing off the white marble floor of the hallway. Though empty of any other aside from herself, the house was filled with noise - the rain pitter-pattering against the roof, the clacking of her white stilettos against the marble floor, the creak of wood common in such an old house, the light but steady drip of water falling from the leaky faucet into the kitchen sink. No matter how many sounds echoed throughout the house, nothing seemed to drown out the ever-present thoughts of him. Everywhere she looked, there he was, embedded in the hundreds of memories they had shared together, replaying over and over at the sight of anything... everything. She sighed deeply. Exhaustion entered every inch of her body with each new breath and she soon found herself giving in to the idea of taking a long hot bath, and calling it a day.

The loud shrill of the telephone sounded as the last piece of clothing fell from her body and onto the little pile at her feet.

"Fuck off, I'm not home," she called out to the empty house, and turned to close the bathroom door to shut out the noise of the phone. She stepped into the steaming water that slowly filled the large claw foot bathtub, and sat down with her back leaning against the inside of the cast iron tub. The heat of the water began to relax her tightened muscles, giving her a chance to finally unwind from the chaos of the day. The thunder of the water falling from the tap and into the tub resonated loudly enough that she could hardly hear the sound of her own voice as the answering machine clicked into play.

Hi, you've reached Lena Stiles. Sorry I can’t come to the phone…

She pushed back the ever-present thoughts of him and let her physical senses take over her focus – the drumming sounds of the running water, the smell of cherry blossoms from the soap in her hands, the soothing heat of the water against her bare skin, slowly rising, inching its way up her neck. She turned off the tap once the water reached the tip of her chin, and lay back down, closing her eyes in an attempt to remain focused on her surroundings and not on her thoughts. At last, she thought, a moment of peace. She let herself go, allowing herself for the first time in months the chance to fully relax, freeing her mind from thoughts of the outside world, from the thoughts of the past that constantly haunted her.

A loud crashing sound woke her from her relaxed state and she sat up with a start, gripping the sides of the wrought iron tub with her now water-pruned fingers. She shivered, realizing how cold the water had turned. How long have I been asleep? And what the hell was that noise? She stepped out of the tub, trying to make as few sounds as possible, and reached down for the white terri-cloth robe that lay crumpled in a heap at the foot of the tub. After hurriedly draping the robe around herself, she carefully opened the bathroom door, cringing slightly as the hinges creaked in the doorframe. Her heart began pounding wildly in her chest, her thoughts racing a mile a minute as she slowly made her way out of the bathroom and into the hall.